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buddhism
February 2009 
Choosy moments
Posted on Jul 29th, 2006
by 
Mila
Mila
I've been troubling myself lately with a lot of confusion and thrashing about in hopes for an answer. So I wasn't quite ready to receive the answer while attending a kirtan in Manchester, NH with David Newman... it just suddenly appeared there, a whole thought, formed in my head:
In our minds, the process works this way: we ask a question, and we receive an answer. I can't point to one instance where the two coincided in one instant. And in questioning, we indicate to the universe our unreadiness to move forward skillfully in that moment. So struggling to turn not-knowing into choosing... we try to turn a moment meant for one state of being into another. Instead, the moments of questioning are simply that: preparation for a moment of choosing.
And in that moment of choosing, what occurs is not so much what we consider choice, as it is accompanied by none of the angst that occurs when we try to choose without knowing, but simple knowing. Which fork of this road should I take? What should I do?
Choosing is a sacred practice. Until the moment of choice, you have been absorbing energy, taking in thoughts, suggestions, ideas, love, all the universe has to offer you... but the moment of choice is a creative instant, a little supernova where the energy you've absorbed crystallizes and shines out brilliantly again.
Each of us fulfills this process a thousand times a day, and yet each time it's new.
Love the process of questioning, of receiving guidance, and let what is learned settle into you. The moment of choosing will come when you know what you need to know, when the choice must be made.
And no sooner.
That's what I realized tonight.
a moment of questioning is not a moment of choosing.
In our minds, the process works this way: we ask a question, and we receive an answer. I can't point to one instance where the two coincided in one instant. And in questioning, we indicate to the universe our unreadiness to move forward skillfully in that moment. So struggling to turn not-knowing into choosing... we try to turn a moment meant for one state of being into another. Instead, the moments of questioning are simply that: preparation for a moment of choosing.
And in that moment of choosing, what occurs is not so much what we consider choice, as it is accompanied by none of the angst that occurs when we try to choose without knowing, but simple knowing. Which fork of this road should I take? What should I do?
Choosing is a sacred practice. Until the moment of choice, you have been absorbing energy, taking in thoughts, suggestions, ideas, love, all the universe has to offer you... but the moment of choice is a creative instant, a little supernova where the energy you've absorbed crystallizes and shines out brilliantly again.
Each of us fulfills this process a thousand times a day, and yet each time it's new.
Love the process of questioning, of receiving guidance, and let what is learned settle into you. The moment of choosing will come when you know what you need to know, when the choice must be made.
And no sooner.
That's what I realized tonight.
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choosy moments choose jif.
Ha! I was thinking that before I logged in this morning.
Great post Jake. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, that opened up and settled so nicely .
Also spoke to my rush to be done already, rather than being in the midst of doing…
I think this is an essential insight and practice…thankyou for sharing…reminds me of wu wei in taoism… I don't do anything and yet nothing is left undone… I too was deeply contemplating exact same thing yesterday or other day… wilingness to stay with the question or not knowing (ie. learn to love your questions) until that intuitive flash of understanding or seeing occurs… (also reminds me of Fred Kofman on I.N. saying instead of saying “oh shit” say “oh fertilizer”) I too find it helpful to let go of consciously trying to answer the question at a certain point., (maybe close to right away sometimes) .. working on not forcing anything… think it over some to the limits of present understanding and then surrender it and walk on… spontaneously and mostly soon (unless it is a very involved complex 2 year theoretical question that can only be answered by a series of answers and experiences over time) creative flash and answer seen or I come back to it and answer is more there (more space around it to see question and answer or insight more clearly)… .. as you eloquently suggest, process is endless… one question answered and another or another facet of question will probably soon arise… have to get used to the process of it… as the creative process of life itself creatively unfolding… helps to know that there is a there there first (surya das)(Creative Potentiality or Spirit IS)…. We learn to let go and trust some “answer” or creative insight or development will arise… probably many times in unexptected ways.. help/seeing/insight keeps arriving or Life itself keeps working itself out… (endlessly for everyone always)… … Then we can let go and lean back in balance,,, just have to learn to skillfully surf these waves to maintain our cool and balance… know how to let go is key….ride the waves… (tonglen for self and all others in similar situation can be especially good here if are hit by some gnarly stuff- see pema chodron website on tonglen)
Third, you work with your personal situation- any painful situation which is real to you. Traditionally you begin by doing tonglen for someone you care about and wish to help. However, as I described, if you are stuck, do the practice for the pain you are feeling and simultaneously for all those just like you who feel that kind of suffering. For instance if you are feeling inadequate- you breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat- and you send out confidence or relief in any form you wish. http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen2.php
(helps a lot to keep up with daily self-renewal (ILP) so that we have this portable heaven of peace and strength and groundedness/groundlessness to surrender with…(unknowing strong peace doesn't hurt much) – makes the process a lot easier and more fluid and faster…
The focus of my covenant group this evening was on the choices we make. The process is endless and sometimes a bit overwhelming…to me anyway, when I'm not totally on track (I'm not usually totally on track).
Recently I've gone through some days in which I've questioned not only my choices but my understanding of them, my understanding of how I've come to decide up on them…my own blog will contain more on this. I've started allready..
Anyway, great read and food for thought! Thanks Jake.
thank you sir